Trust your taste
Is this my first blog post since the grand re-re-reopening of my website? Absolutely. But in 2026 I’m doing better, so here we are. Happy New Year, lol.
I’m not even going to hold you; I hit the ground runninggggg in January. Instead of waiting until after the new year starts to think about how I want the year to feel, I decided to start planning in December. It felt (and still feels) imperative to be extremelyyy intentional in how I go about my life this year. I decided to do all the lil’ new year, new me things I said I would do in previous years that I usually let sit on my to-do list for 365 days…. A vision board, word of the year, and created clear/intentional goals for myself. I really gave myself a good north star to always reference as I go about my days.
Now, my goal list is LONG but there are three main goals I want to call out today, please gather around, we’ll circle back to these soon:
Goal 1: HAVE MORE AUDACITY (Audacity is also my word of the year)
Goal 2: Create more work in other disciplines
Goal 3: Trust my taste
“I want to share the extensions of my creativity that stay buried in journals + sketchbooks and I want to live up to the expectations I have for myself”
I mentioned that it feels imperative to be intentional in how I go about my life this year and I mean it. For years now I’ve had creative ideas and goals that I’ve YET to fully act on. Dreams that keep me up at night. The end of each year I’m always like “next year I’m not gonna be saying next year” and guess what? I KEEP SAYING NEXT YEAR BRO, It’s wild. I’ll give myself grace because, life be life’n… but it feels like time is ticking, flying by.
Now, I will always believe that what God has for me is for me. Buttttt I also believe that if God gives you something to act on, and you don’t? Don’t be surprised if you see that idea appear elsewhere.
For a while now I’ve been feeling a bit mediocre within my creativity. To be clear, I KNOW I’m not mediocre…. but I know deep down I’m operating at a very small percentage of my creativity, not even 15% if we are being honest, lol. There are a lot of reasons for that, some things are out of my control, but TBH, most things are not. I feel so deeply that I’m meant for more. I’m ready to tell stories in different visual languages. I want to share the extensions of my creativity that stay buried in journals + sketchbooks and I want to live up to the expectations I have for myself within my purpose. I’ve waiting around for the perfect time, more money, etc. to feel like I can do the things I really want to do… but in the words of my therapist, NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE ME. It’s time to do all the things, and it’s time to start doing them now.
Now, if you’re here from social you are probably like “Girl, I thought this was a project recap” and it is… but I needed to give a little context on what really made this project special for me.
So let’s go back to January… I got an email from an agency I worked with last year (s/o Whaler) with an opportunity to work with Visa. The ask was to create a reel that includes me creating art that celebrates the Super Bowl, while showcasing my process. During our intro call my first thought was, there HASSSS to be a way I can make this more fun instead of propping up my tripod and recording my process. Almost immediately an idea came to me. What if I create a video that shows the similarities of how creatives and athletes prepare for their craft? I threw the idea out on the call and the interest was there. After the call I was like wait, what if the video is on a football field and I can create a version of my desk set up there?!
Now mind you, I only had a little over a week to get this done if everything worked out; and while I’m trying to determine if I can even make this happen, we’re negotiating the offer, figuring out details like licensing, I needed to create a mood board for the client, I have other deadlines, it’s all types of shit happening. I hit up my friend Raven and tell her about the project. I’m already overwhelmed because I’m like 1. Is this a dumb idea?! Lol 2. If everything works contract wise, how can I get this done quickly, and get it done GOOD?! Thank God for friends that are directors, because Raven immediately volunteered to direct this for me. Both of us started hitting up our networks for videographers and I was on the hunt to find a football field that would let us shoot for free. And in a city where everything requires a permit that can be hard.
One thing that I’m trying to work on is being intentional at including God in all my decisions and not just when things feel extremely dire. Through this whole process I kept praying “if this is the right path and idea, let everything fall in place with ease”. Now, even though I prayed that prayer, I was still stressed about if everything would be fine, at EVERY SINGLE point of the process lmao. I know God be SICK of me lmao. My first win was the football field; I got a call from a friend that that I can use a field at a local school (s/o Sobe and Shaun). Not only was I able to have the field to myself on my desired date/time… but the school just so happened to be the Visa brand colors! We love alignment (which was another nod that everything was working out in my favor).
A day or two later, after both Raven and I reached out and talked to severalllll videographers, we had a phone call with a guy named Tony. 5 min into the convo and I knew he was the one. Not only was he available, but he was excited about the idea and not pressed about the tight turnaround time. A win win. I love when people are excited to create. At this point I’m starting to feel like everything is coming together, but I still need to figure out the creative: art direction, props, script, shot list, editor, anddddd do the art. The whole time, I’m still stressed like IS THIS A DUMB IDEA?! LOL. At some point Raven was like “don’t you have good taste?!!! Trust it” which reminded me of my goals for this year, trust my taste. I must believe my ideas are good enough.
Trust Your Taste.
Fast forward to shoot day…initially I was a bit nervous. To know me is to know I hate being rushed and feeling unprepared (a true Taurus) and because this whole thing came together SUPER fast, I was worried I would miss a detail or not think about something fully. I wanted things to be perfect, a terrible trait of mine. Then I thought of something a friend said to me earlier, a reminder that this is supposed to be FUN! Sometimes I get so wrapped up in perfectionism I forget that I’m being paid to be a big kid. Between that thought, and Raven reminding me not to worry because she’s the next Scorsese, the nervousness was gone. The day felt perfect.
The next morning I had more things to figure out *cues one battle after another* I needed to edit the illustration for the clients, record the footage of me doing the illustration, edit my script (the hardest part for me) then record it, and most importantly find an editor that could have this done ASAP. Raven struck gold again and found an editor in her network s/o Jonny. When I tell y’all Jonny is colddddd, he got it right in the first edit. We sent it to the client and they lovedddd it, they only had small edits. I was nervous about client feedback since we did everything so fast. There was no world where we could reshoot anything, lol.
And what do you know, everything came out perfect. WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT LOL. You can view it here.
During my reflection on this project (which is something new I’m doing, I usually move tf on) I realized that not only was this such a blessing of an opportunity, but that I was already walking in the goals I set for myself. It’s almost like God was like “Imma test you early and see if you reallyyyy ready for the year”
Let’s circle back to my goals I listed in the beginning:
Goal 1: HAVE MORE AUDACITY: I could’ve easily taken the easy route on this project, especially given the timeline. My nervous system would’ve been more intact with propping up my tripod and simply making a reel out of that. But I knew that shit was boring and HAD to have the audacity to choose a challenge.
Goal 2: Create more work in other disciplines: I didn’t want the star of this show to be the illustration, I love the illustration, but I wanted to tell a story in a different format… and I did this by creating a visual concept that tells a story. This shows my skillset in creative + art direction.
Goal 3: Trust my taste: I know I have a good taste, but sometimes, when doing things that feel challenging it can be easy to trick yourself out your spot. It’s like strengthening a muscle that’s not new, but it’s a bit weaker than I’m used to. You know, just like those random muscles you find out about in Pilates. I had to remember my taste is the foundation, it translates through everything.
This project taught me a lot about myself; it was a reminder that the only way you can learn is by existing in the process. Bigger than the output, it was a timely reminder that I have everything I need. I’m prepared. It was also a reminder that when I ask God for something and it’s shown that I’m on the right path, I MUST release control and anxiety. The deed is already done.
If you’ve made it this far, because I’m currently on page 4 in Microsoft word so I’m assuming its long, thank you. The main reason I decided to start blogging again is because IG just doesn’t seem like the place to be long winded the way I want to be. I need a space to tell a long ass story about the BTS of my ridiculous creative brain. Thank you for being here. More soon.
Photography Credit (all photos): Raven B. Varona
Couple of housekeeping notes:#1: I’m no writer, it’s probably all types of spelling errors and whatnot, my bad in advance.
#2: This is my safe space, keep it cute (y’all always do, but just in case)
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I also have a lil mood board page that I love and I feel like you would too find me where the vibes at
xoxo
